Critical Shift

Self-Esteem or Identity

Self-esteem is how well you value and respect yourself. Initially your develop your identify through your interactions and feedback from others. When are others happy with you, compliment you? When are others upset you with? What is your belief about how others see you?

This is how all of us begin to build our self-esteem or identity.

Other-Reflected Identity

• This is how others perceive and define you based on their observations, interactions, and societal norms.

• It is influenced by external feedback, stereotypes, social roles, and cultural expectations.

• Example: If others see you as a leader because of your confidence and decision-making skills, that perception becomes part of your other-reflected identity.

While this is the normal way you develop your identify it will create problems if you don’t make the critical shift as you move into adulthood. The critical shift to self-reflected identity.

Self-Reflected Identity

• This is how you see and understand yourself based on introspection, personal experiences, values, and self-awareness.

• It is shaped by your internal thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and personal growth.

• Example: If you believe you are a kind person because you reflect on your actions and values, that is part of your self-reflected identity.Key Differences

Interplay Between the Two

• Sometimes, your self-reflected identity aligns with how others see you, creating a strong, consistent sense of identity.

• Other times, there may be a conflict—such as when you see yourself as shy, but others perceive you as outgoing based on your actions.

• Personal development often involves balancing self-perception with external feedback while staying authentic.

During the next week, be curious. How much of your identity or esteem is coming from how you believe others see, other-reflected, and how often is your sense of self coming from with, self-reflected?