5 Ways to Support the Experience of Loss
When someone you care about is grieving, it can be difficult to know how to offer the right kind of support. Whether they’ve lost a loved one, a pet, or are going through another form of loss, the pain can be overwhelming and isolating. While you are not be able to take away their pain, there are thoughtful and practical ways to show up for them. Here are five meaningful ways you can support someone through a difficult time of loss:
1. Be There and Listen—Without Judgment or Advice
One of the most important ways to support someone who is grieving is simply by being present. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, especially if you're unsure of what to say, but sometimes your presence alone is enough. Grief can be a lonely experience, and knowing someone is there to listen without trying to fix things can be incredibly comforting.
What you can do:
Let them lead the conversation. If they want to talk about their loss, be a patient and empathetic listener.
Resist the urge to offer advice unless they ask for it. Sometimes, people just need to express their feelings and be heard without receiving solutions or "cheer-up" messages.
Ask them questions about their loss, what they miss, what they wish they would have said, what are their favorite memories.
2. Offer Practical Help with Everyday Tasks
Grief can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Even routine activities like cooking meals, grocery shopping, or managing household chores can feel overwhelming. Offering practical help can alleviate some of the burden they may be facing and allow them to focus on their emotional well-being.
What you can do:
Offer to cook or bring over meals, especially during the first few days or weeks after the loss.
Run errands like picking up groceries, doing laundry, or helping with pets or children.
Ask if they need help with more specific tasks, such as organizing memorials, handling paperwork, or dealing with funeral arrangements.
When offering help, try to be specific—this makes it easier for the grieving person to say "yes" without feeling overwhelmed by the need to figure out what they might need.
3. Respect Their Grief Process and Give Them Space When Needed
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and it’s important to recognize that everyone processes loss differently. Some people may want to talk constantly about their loss, while others may prefer quiet or solitude. Be respectful of their unique way of grieving, and allow them the space to navigate their emotions at their own pace.
What you can do:
Check in regularly but without pressure. Sometimes, grief can make people pull away or isolate themselves, but knowing someone is thinking of them can offer a quiet sense of comfort.
Don’t rush them through their grief. There’s no "right" timeline for healing, and it’s important to give them the time and space they need to grieve fully.
Let them know it’s okay to have ups and downs. Grief doesn’t follow a straight path, and there will be days when they might need more space than others.
4. Acknowledge the Loss and Share Memories
Acknowledging the loss and talking about the person or thing that was lost can be deeply meaningful. While some may shy away from mentioning the loss out of fear of making the person upset, it can actually be comforting to know that others remember and honor what they are grieving.
What you can do:
Share a kind memory or a story about the person they’ve lost. This can open up a space for them to talk about their loved one and reminisce.
If they seem open to it, ask questions about their memories or how they are feeling about the loss.
If the loss was recent, just saying something simple like, “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m thinking of you,” can be a meaningful acknowledgment of what they’re going through.
5. Be Patient and Continue to Support Over Time
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral or a month following a loss. In fact, some of the hardest moments for a grieving person may come weeks or months later, when the initial outpouring of support begins to fade. This is the time when your continued support can make the most difference.
What you can do:
Continue reaching out to check in, even after the initial rush of support has passed. Send a text or call just to let them know you’re thinking of them.
Celebrate milestones like anniversaries, birthdays, or special dates that might be particularly tough for them. These moments can be triggers for grief, and your acknowledgment can mean a lot.
Let them know that it’s okay to not be okay, and that you’re there for the long haul, no matter how long it takes for them to heal.
Conclusion
While there’s no way to fully take away the pain of loss, you can make a meaningful difference by offering your presence, empathy, and practical support. Everyone experiences grief differently, and it’s important to let the grieving person lead the way in terms of what they need. By offering your time, understanding, and patience, you can help them navigate their sorrow and find comfort in knowing they are not alone.
Sometimes, just showing up and letting someone know you care can make all the difference.
